So although my trip to Paraguay is over, it has continued to alter my life. Upon adjusting to my home culture, a lot of things have changed inside me. So here we go again,
It’s hard to be in one place when your heart is in another. I am back at school and all settled in and don’t get me wrong I have missed my friends and am enjoying college, but apart of me always goes back to the incredible experience I had this summer in Paraguay. Word’s are just not adequate in expressing the love I have for that place and for the amazing people I met. I don’t want to romanticize it and say that it was easy, because it was 100% the opposite of that. It was hard, so difficult with a number of barriers: language, culture, (literal barriers, like having to stop because there was a cow crossing the road) so many things. Yet, through all of that, I have never experienced such an authentic joy and true love for the simple things in life and the beauty of diversity of believers. I miss the dirt (safari style) roads we traveled, struggling through Spanish, and the little hugs I got everyday when walking into school. I miss so many things about Paraguay, but I have to come back to an important statement that one of the missionary families reminded me: to be present wherever God has you. I don’t know what God has for me in the future, but I know one thing: I want to be wherever He wants me. What I didn’t expect this summer was to come back with a huge gap in my heart because of a love I developed for the the country of Paraguay. While in class my thoughts wander back to the classes at CEI and all the students I miss so much. But, I must be present where I am right now. I have to be happy with where God has me. I am not the same person. I have different perspectives and a completely altered goals from what I had before I left. I need to learn the most I can here at school so that I can go back and be a positive impact if that is where God wants me to be. What I am trying to say is, be content. Be content with wherever God has you right now, even if you feel like what you are doing now feels like a waste of time, because it isn’t. What I do know is that my God is LIVING and active in my life. He has us in every place we are for a specific purpose and we can’t be half-presently going through everyday. We have to be completely where we are. We have to sell ourselves out to whatever God wants us to be doing NOW. I have a future dream to be able to go back, but right now God has me HERE. He has me at college for an amazing purpose, even though sometimes apart of me feels to be missing.
“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” Philippians 3:14-16